#3 – Communication

Hi,

Today’s topic will be communication. I know, this is a sensitive subject. It is for all of us.

The word that comes to mind is vulnerability. Are we able to be vulnerable in our significant relationships? Are we able to speak the truth in love and listen to the truth and respond with love?  That is a huge question that needs to be addressed in the beginning. After all, we are for each other!

It is very difficult to be vulnerable. This is crucial, though, if we’re going to move forward in a positive way in our relationships.

In order for me to have an open, honest conversation where I allow myself to be vulnerable, I have to trust. Generally speaking, people are not honest for 3 reasons. They fear the consequences, they are ashamed, or they fear judgment. 

In a marriage, especially, communication must be a priority. I am not an expert, but I’ve talked with many women, and I have experienced the results of poor communication in my own relationships. I have now experienced the direct opposite and what happens when a relationship is built on open, honest communication where we can be vulnerable. There is nothing like it. It is freedom and it is beautiful. You can have that, too, but you may need to get your mind right.

The problem with all of a sudden being open and honest is getting there. It comes down to vulnerability and trust.

Marriage should be the one relationship where we can be open about our feelings without judgment or anger or blame. Unless we have honest conversations with our spouse, there will always be a disconnect. If we’re going to have a satisfying marriage, this is where we must start, even if we haven’t been this way before.

At some point, we must sit down together and begin anew. It will take prayer, vulnerability on both parts, and assurance there will be no negative consequences for being honest in how we feel. Now, we also need to agree we will both speak the truth in love.

I can’t stress enough how much freedom and love you will feel when you are able to be open and honest in your marriage. It will bring you closer than you can imagine. It is truly an intimate experience when this happens in a relationship. You will finally be able to relax with your spouse knowing there is no longer the wondering or questioning of motives or actions. It truly is a beautiful feeling.

I want you to start thinking about how this can happen in your marriage moving forward. You don’t have to act today. A conversation like I’ve described needs some consideration and planning. A good beginning step is for one of you to begin the conversation. Tell your spouse you want to talk after the kids go to bed or over coffee when they’re in school.

Timing is important for this first conversation. You want as few interruptions as possible. Wait a day or two to say anything if the timing isn’t right. It doesn’t have to be perfect, just be aware of what is going on with both of you.